Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
