You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
