That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
