Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
