I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
