Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
