For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
