A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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