im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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