My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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