on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
