its not stalking. its research.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize