At least make sure they are 18
Why
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
