My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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