try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
