idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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