he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
