from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
