U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
