I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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