we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
