in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
