I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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