At least make sure they are 18
Why
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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