Ambien. No doubt about it.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
