Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
