Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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