so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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