Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
