So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
