Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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