Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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