Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I wish I could teleport

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(210): View more from Texas

I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

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(805): View more from California

He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.

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(904): View more from Florida

Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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(620): View more from Kansas

We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.

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(813): View more from Florida

Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids

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