my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize