i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
