I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
