last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
