your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize