To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
