TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
