I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
