porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
