My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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