i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
