So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She needs sedatives and a leash
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize