Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
