6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
