yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
