Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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