Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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