I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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