You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
