just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
