I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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