evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
