people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
