Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
where are my eyebrows?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
