He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
