a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize