Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you would pick up someone in the library
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
