Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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