Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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