I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He? As in you personified your dick?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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