If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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