its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
