I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
