Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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