so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
