I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
