Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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